Twins Birth Story

I realized that I never did a blog post on the twins birth story, and felt it was time.  Around the twins 1st birthday, I reflected a lot on their birth, and to be honest, I had to process a lot of it.  It was a good birth, and things went well, but I realized there were also some very tense times, and things that could have gone a bit better, or maybe different is the better term.  Anyway, here we go.

On Tuesday December 2nd I was 36weeks along, and had my weekly OB appointment.  Up until this point, I loved being pregnant, I actually felt pretty good, but the 35-36 week changed.  I wasn’t able to sleep and was getting more and more uncomfortable.  I struggled with my comfort vs. more time in the oven for them, as I knew that was best, and even if I didn’t go into labour, at most I had 2 more weeks to go.  I could do it.

However, at my appointment when my OB asked how I was doing, I fell apart and told her that if we could induce next week (at 37 weeks) that would be best, I was exhausted and emotional.  She said she would see what she could do, but made no promises or plans.  I do live in a small town, and there is no NICU at our hospital, so they want to make sure they are doing what’s best for everyone. I could deal with that.  I made a chiropractor appointment for that week and was going to keep myself busy with visits with friends, and watching Gilmore Girls (my favorite!)

On Thursday December 4th, I didn’t sleep well at all, and that day was feeling pretty tired.  I decided to cancel my chiropractic appointment and would just head to my friends house for our weekly ladies coffee.  While I was getting ready, another friend called to see how I was doing, and while I was on the phone my water broke, around 9a.m.  When I informed Phil that my water broke, and he asked what do we do now, I actually responded with “I don’t know”.  Up until 2 weeks prior, the twins were breach and transverse, so I figured it would be a c-section, unless they flipped, but that far along in a twin pregnancy it’s unlikely.  For whatever reason, I decided not to really learn all the things about protocol when you go into labour, as I didn’t think I would on my own.  At 34 weeks when we learned the twins were both head down, I called my doula, and we had a crash course on vaginal delivery and she assured me she’d walk me through everything.  I felt confident that woman are made to do this, and that we had an excellent care team, one way or another the babies would be earthside, so I tried not to worry too much.   So, Phil suggested that I call my doctor as well as my doula letting them know.   After speaking to them, it was time for Phil and I to get ready to head to the hospital. We arrived shortly after 11a.m and were admitted.

The OB on call came and met us and checked things out.  My water did in fact break, I was in labour, and they were going to decide what the care plan would be for us.  After some discussion they felt that because there was no paediatrician that day, and maternity being quite busy that it would be best to transfer me to a bigger hospital.  Plus the fact that I was 36weeks + 3 days, it would be beneficial to be near a NICU just in case.  So, we waited for AirAmbulance to come and get us.  We organized how our car would get there, who would watch the dogs, and Phil made a trip home for some extra things.  We waited, and waited, and waited.   Unfortunately, due to weather they weren’t able to come and get us, so we settled in for the night, and they hoped we could be transferred in the morning.  With that we went to bed and were going to try and get some sleep, because the next day we would be meeting our sweet babies.

We had just laid down, and started to dose off, when things changed and I went into active labour.  The nurse hooked me back up to the monitors and I was indeed in labour, back labour at that, which is so uncomfortable.  Around 2a.m the OB came in to see how things were going, I was 7cm dilated and was no longer going to be transferred and would be delivering locally.  The anesthetist came in and I received my epidural and now we went to sleep once again to rest as much as we could before meeting our babies the next day.

SONY DSC

Keeping everyone up to date and how things are progressing

SONY DSC

Nothing like seeing two tables set up to really realize there are 2 babies on the way. 

Around 7a.m on December 5, 2014,  the OB came in to see how things progressed over night, and to everyones surprise I was fully dilated.  He said to continue to rest, and was going to figure out who our team would be, and book the OR for delivery, for now, we waited.  Around 10am it was time to start pushing. My doula (who was amazing and I would highly recommend) arrived and it was time to learn how to push.  At first the nurse guided me when to push, but it didn’t take long for me to feel the urge and inform those around me that I needed to push.  I did have an epidural, but I could feel much of what was going on.  I pushed for 2 hours however,  with twins, when pushing, all the pressure doesn’t go to baby A, but is distributed between them, so even though it was progressing, it was taking longer than it might have had it been a singleton.

At noon, our OB came in and asked if we were ready.  He felt confident we could deliver in labour and delivery, and wouldn’t have to go to the OR.  The doors opened and like a production and the team entered.  There was a doctor and nurse for each baby, the OB, and a nurse for me, a nurse overseeing the room, and an extra nurse for the doctors assistance.  Plus, me, hubby and our doula.  It was a full room, everyone introduced themselves and it was time.

With the help of a vacuum, our son was born at 12:21p.m, weighing 5lbs7oz and was 18.5″ long!  We did not know what we were having, but my whole pregnancy, I did feel that he was a boy.  Before the OB was able to break baby B’s water, she flipped and was breach, and unfortunately her little arm was stuck above her head.  The OB tried to sweep her arm down, but couldn’t get it down, and she needed to be delivered, as they were having a harder time finding her heartbeat with all the commotion.  So she was delivered breech, and on the way out, she broke her little arm, but at 12:26p.m. we welcomed our sweet girl into the world, weighing 6lbs11oz and was 19.75″ long.  They were here, after years of infertility, years of prayers, and hopes and waiting, our babies were here.  A moment that was so beautiful for us.

SONY DSC

Our little man

SONY DSC

Our baby girl 

SONY DSC

Our 1st family photo with the twins

We stayed 5 days at the hospital – between the little Miss needing glucose stabilization and then little Mr having low bilirubin levels, but soon enough we were on our way home.  It was an emotional few days (the standard day 3 being the worst) but everything went well.  I’m grateful for all the doctors and nurses that cared for us.  There are some things I do think could have gone different, and sometimes it makes me sad that I didn’t advocate better for myself, but overall, we did what was best for us and the babies at the time with the information we knew then.

They were so tiny, this photo they are snuggled together in one bassinet.

FullSizeRender-1

Heading home! It was a big day to be discharged and going home to start our life as a family of 4.  You’ll notice little Miss has her arm all tucked in, she has to have it splinted to herself for a few weeks while her humorous bone healed up.

IMG_1239

It was the most empowering and amazing thing I had accomplished in my life up until that point (I would say nursing twins is a close second – another post on that one day).  I felt strong, beautiful, exhausted and extremely in love.  I was a mother.

IMG_1195

Pin It

Mama’s Favorite Things: Lush

For as long as I can remember I have always been a lover of baths.  As a kid, I preferred having a bath over a shower, and as an adult, I still find the joy in a relaxing, quiet bath.  Especially now since having twins!

Years ago, when Lush first came out, I had heard of it, but was intimidated to go in and try it out.  But, once visit to Nanaimo with my friend, who took me in an bought me my 1st bath bomb, I was hooked! (Thanks Kimmy, you’re the bestest!)

Since this time, I have enjoyed many Lush baths… and consider myself a “Lushy”.  It’s a standard, birtday, Christmas or everyday gift for me, and one that is most appreciated.  I love them displayed in my bathroom, and adore everything about them! The look, smell, and of course the baths that come with.

Today while in Nanaimo, I stopped at Lush and restocked!  I’m excited for my new collection, and can’t wait to enjoy the many bath’s to come!

If you haven’t tried Lush before – I so recommend it! You won’t be disappointed (My go-to’s are: Butterball, Avobath, Honeybee, &  Comforter Bubble Bar)

If you too are a Lush-y, what are you favorite products to use?

IMG_0525

Pin It

Twinsies: 1st Sleepover

Last night was a big night in our household.  The Twinsies had their 1st sleepover at gramma and grampa’s house!! P.Daddy turns 30 on Monday, and I wanted to celebrate with our friends, so planned a later evening get-together for once the kiddos were in bed, that we could enjoy the evening sans kids and celebrate the big 3-0.  I had asked my mom if on Saturday morning (today) when the kids woke up I could drop them off for the morning, leaving Phil to sleep and then I could come back home and either go back to bed, or have some at home quiet time – both which was most welcome and rare.  The answer was yes, and we planned for that.

Then, after speaking with my dad, they asked if they could take the twins overnight, to really give us a night off! Woohoo!  Of course we said yes.  The twins are no longer nursing, sleeping fairly well at night, and are super comfortable with my parents. Plus, if it all goes bad, its one night, and we are 5 minutes away.

I didn’t realize the range of emotions I would feel though after saying yes to the sleepover.  As much as I have longed for a night without them, some adult conversation uninterrupted by little voices, or being able to sleep deeply without listening for someones cries; I have also found purpose and comfort in the fact that for the last 14.5months, I have have been their person.  I’m the one they need. I know what their different cries, expressions, actions mean.  I know their schedule better than anyone.  I know how to cuddle them just right.  I’m the one who tucks the blanket cozy around them at bedtime.  Me.

But, I knew that my parents are more than capable, they have so got this! I knew that it was important for Phil and I to be a couple, hang out with our friends and enjoy this time.  I knew that the sleep would be most welcome, especially after the last few weeks of being sick.  It was the exact thing that we needed to do, and I had to let go of control (not my best ability).

This year, I am wanting to find who I am again.  Who am I, when I am not defined as wife or mother.  Those are my favorite roles, of course.  But I also wish to know who I am as an individual.  For the last 5 years I was consumed by circumstance in many ways — 1st infertility; then pregnancy – high risk pregnancy at that; the arrival of the twins – navigating and surviving all the busyness that comes with that.  But now, things have shifted.  The twins have more self-play time, and are finding independence.  During the day, I have time to enjoy a hot tea or coffee while I listen to their interactions.  We can get out easily and do many things.

Last night reminded me, that although Phil and I are very different people compared to who we were before kids, we are still a couple, still need to take care of that.  We are still individuals, and need to take care of that person too.  And, mostly, it reminded me that we have such an amazing community of people in our life.  Friends who we love spending time with, and family who loves us and our kids as much as we do.

So, today, I am enjoying a coffee, and a brownie (leftovers from last nights party). I’m enjoying the sun streaming through the window, and the quiet.  But I am also looking forward to picking up the twins and seeing their bright smiley faces, which I love so much.

Today is a good day. IMG_0467

Pin It

Fishless Fish Tacos

This past weekend, we went on our first family get-away! We’ve gone away a couple times since the twins were born, but it was usually to visit people/for appointments/for a funeral — this time, it was for us, a family holiday – 4nights/5days away from home.  One of our favorite places in the world is Tofino/Ucluelet and it was time to take our babies there for the 1st time.  Joining us for a weekend adventure, were good friends of ours and their kids! Our crew (4 adults and 6 kids aged 1-13) found the perfect beach house and settled in for a weekend of sunshine, beachcombing, surfing, hottubbing, delicious food, great visits, laughter and a lot of fun.  Our weekend away warrants it’s own blog post, that will come, but today, today I will share about the fishless fish tacos.

Naturally, when you go to the West Coast, you find fish and chips! Delicious fresh fish and chips.  Or fish tacos!  We had brought groceries for breaksfasts and dinners each day, but were going to eat out for lunch and enjoy the tastes of the west coast.  On Sunday after spending much time at the beach, playing in the waves it was time for a late lunch.  We ventured over to Tacofino where we’ve heard the fish taco’s are to die for – we were excited.  Upon arrival the line up was wrapped around the courtyard, and we were told it’d probably be 1-1.5hour wait time. Sigh.  We decided that we would go to Wildside instead.  Lunch was ordered.

I found a nice picnic table in the sun, and the twins and I saved our spot for when lunch was ready and we could enjoy it together.  Our friends, Ed and Corrie come over with their food – and realized that there was a mishap with their order — what was suppose to be 3 orders of fish tacos (3 tacos per order), was actually just the one order, which meant there was 1 fish taco for each of them and their daughter.   Accepting defeat and not wanting to be in line again, they decided they would just have the one and fries, and that’d be fine for that day.  But before sitting down to eat they had to run back to their van.  I was left at the table with the twins and the fish tacos.

Little mister threw his cup onto the group, and I bent down to retrieve it.  In that exact moment, I heard flapping, and when I sprung up, I saw crows and there was salsa strewn across the table.  I took one look at the tacos and realized what happened. 2/3 fishtacos no longer had fish in them.

Crap. What do I do! How do I remedy this. There was nothing to be done. I turn around to watch Ed walking toward me simply saying “you won’t believe what happened”.   He couldn’t believe it, and this started the fishless fish taco saga that would continue for the whole weekend.

Monday, a new day a new adventure.  It was surfing day! After some awesome surf lessons, and beach time, we were going back to Tacofino to try again, surely the line would be better. No. Not at all, and we were all hungry and ready for lunch.  Thinking fast, Phil and I offered to grab fish & chips from Jiggers in Ucluelet and then we’d head back to our beach house and eat there.  Perfect.  We drove back to Ucluelet, and pull into the parking lot, only to find the food truck is not there and were closed. NO! There were no other fish and chips place that we could find. We drove back to the beach house and waited for our friends return.

I heard them pull up, peeked my head out the door and once again said “you wont believe what happened” … In disbelief he said, when he drove by the place he did think it looked closed but didn’t want to accept that.  So, again, no fish.

Tuesday, we were heading home on Tuesday, but since we haven’t had the fish tacos we were going to try once more!  We even looked online at the hours and confirmed they were open.  We planned on arriving early to hopefully miss the lines, but were prepared that we would wait if we had to.  We packed up and headed out on our last adventure.  We were about 5 minutes behind our friends, when I get a text saying “you wont believe it” ….

They were closed.  CLOSED!

This concluded our fishless fish taco adventure.  5 days on the west coast, and 3 failed attempts, it just wasn’t meant to be.

Pin It

When sickness strikes

Our house was hit with major cold-flu bugs! First the man was feeling sick, then the twins went down, and lastly mama was hit.  Terrible combo.

Taking care of sick kids is hard enough; their extra snuggly, fussy, and needy.  They can’t really tell you what they want, they just know they don’t feel good.  Lots of mama time, not enough sleep, and trying to keep one year olds hydrated is hard.  Both of them ended up with high fevers, and were just miserable.

On top of this, the hubs and I were feeling downright awful too. Bleh!  Pre-twins, if we were sick, we’d drink tea, sleep, be cozy and get over it.  Post-twins, we take care of the sick babies, and hope-pray-will ourselves to be better.  I’m still waiting for that.  And if we don’t get sick again this winter, I’d for sure be okay with that!

This weekend we are heading to the West Coast for our 1st real vacation as a family of 4.  I’m hoping that everyone is feeling better and we can totally relax and enjoy!

Pin It

Favorite Things: Arbonne

Throughout the year my love of make-up wanes and waxes depending on where I’m at in my life.  Sometimes I can’t get enough, and other times, I can’t even find time (or desire) to do anything – usually I fall somewhere in the middle.  Growing up my mom taught my sister and I the importance of finding our “5 minute face” – that way it wasn’t a chore if we want to quickly freshen up.  It was quick, easy and it really can make you feel a little better.

My 5 minute face, typically includes a BB cream, bronzer, blush, mascara and a bit of eye shadow.  Nothing fancy, but it’s a quick little pick me up (and with the twins, trust me, I need this some days!)

But sometimes, I want my 15 minute face – I really never spend more than 30 mins in the bathroom on my hair and make-up so my face can’t take all that long!  When I do this, there’s fancier eyeshadow, and more contouring and highlighting!

I’m on a make-up binge right now, where I’m enjoying new techniques, updating my make-up bag (out with the old and in with the new!) and it’s been a fun hobby to play around.

But, what I love most is what I use under my make-up.  Last fall, my friend introduced me to the Arbonne Facial line, and I’m hooked!! It has seriously made my skin so much better – I’m so happy with it – even when I have my no make-up days, I feel prouder of my complexion than I have most of my adult life.

The products which are my go to’s:

Fc5 Cleanser and Toner; rE9 Eye Cream; rE9 Night Cream & Fc5 daycream.   I have a few others I use including an exfoliator and a weekly masque, but these are the “I can’t live without” – the eye cream is amazing – especially for these twin-mama-almost-30 tired eyes!

If you are looking for a consultant and want to try some things out, I can direct you to my distributer who would help you out and hook you up!

Pin It

The best sounds in the world

This last year there are certain things that bring a joy to my heart that I didn’t know was possible before.  One of my very favorite things right now, is the chatter/laughter and goofing that the twins do in their cribs when they wake in the morning.  Recently, I had to rearrange the nursery because Mr. T was pulling the curtain into his bed and trying to peek out the window.  The new arrangement has left the cribs closer together and now they can fully ‘play’ with each other.  In the morning, T is always the 1st one up, and I hear him chat with himself, doze, giggle, doze, and then I hear him try and wake his sister for a rousing game of peek-a-boo.

Finally, she wakes, and the laughter ensues.  These two make each other laugh like none other. They love eachother so much, and already truly have that twin-bond you hear so much about.  I love that they want to not only sit near each other, but typically on each other – or at least touching while having their bottles, or playtime.  That when they are having dinner they will take food off one another’s plate, but also put favorites on the others plate too.

I love that at 1 year old they truly know each other.  They really do have their little best friend built in from the start.  Having twins has stretched and challenged me in ways I never knew possible, but it has also brought me joy in ways I never knew I’d experience. My heart has grown! The simple things are my favorite things, and each morning, I start each day with the little wake-up call of my twins laughter.

Pin It

Toddling Around

Mr. T is now a toddler! Last week, he took a few steps, and this entire week he has been working hard on figuring out how to toddle around.  He’s getting pretty sturdy now, and is loving that he can carry toys/snacks/water with him while he walks, which is pretty awesome for a 1-year old.

It’s amazing to watch a little baby learn to walk (really, to learn anything).  But what struck me as I watched him all week, is that when he would fall down, how quickly he’d get back up and try again.  Over, and over again.  Sometimes making it only 1 step before tumbling, but almost immediately, trying to stand again.  Also noticing that by the end of the day, when he was getting tired, he would fall more, but still get up to walk around, even if crawling would be easier.

I look at his determination to figure this out, to do it well, and I admire him.  Yes, I admire my 1-year old.  Because, in my own life, I don’t act in the same way.  In my life, if I get knocked down, I tend to pout, or wonder why, or question, or complain.  I don’t just stand up to try again, even if I will only take one step and tumble again.  In my life, I think it’s not fair that I’ve fallen, and that others should care/know/support, even when it’s me who has to get up and move forward. To persevere. To figure out how to do it.

I know that learning to walk and life’s circumstance to really compare, yet to me, they do.  They do because of his attitude toward the situation vs. mine; they do because of his determination vs. my frustration; they do because I can learn a lot from my toddler.

Life has been hard lately for me, I have been knocked down a lot, I have had to work really hard at being present, and not anxious.  To not worry about what could have been, or what might be, but to enjoy (or deal with) what is, right now.  I am grateful that this week, I was able to be present for my son’s walking, to be present in watching him discover this new world and freedom.  To enjoy the squeals of delight in his accomplishment, and the determination to do it again when it was hard.

I was inspired.  Thank-you baby boy.  You teach your mama more than you’ll ever know.

Pin It

Dressing Boy-Girl Twins: Flatlay

I love having boy-girl twins! It’s such a neat experience to watch them grow and change into such different little people, yet have so many similarities.  Even though we are raising them the same way at the same time – how different they are, yet how similar they can be.  How ‘boy’ he is, with his “beast mode” as Uncle calls it, when he turns on and just goes, and how dainty she can be, touching everything so gently.  They can also be so tender and kind to eachother, sharing, holding hands and wanting to always be touching!

When we found out it was twins, we knew it would be fun to dress them! You have two to dress! Girls or boys, you can really achieve the “of course their twins” look by dressing them in the same thing (which part of me really hoped for), but I also love the challenge of dressing them to coordinate, and match, but also be girly-boyish.

This last year, I have scoured Instagram, I had a lot of time to be on my phone while nursing, and found some amazing shops! I love to support small business, local business, and find those treasures that are just must haves!

Tonight I was getting laundry folded and as I was piling up the clothes, saw the perfect outfits for them to wear to church tomorrow — so here’s a little idea of how to coordinate your boy-girl twins:

IMG_9669

Adorable, right?  I can’t wait for morning to come and to have them dresses up in this!

Shops are:

Rain People ~ Grey Bonnet a handmade on Vancouver Island treasure, this particular one is made from cashmere, and lined in black cotton.

Minimoc ~ these adorable mocs have adorned the twins feet since they were 6 weeks old, and I have loved them ever since I first saw them! They are so soft, and stay on baby toes! In the winter they keep socks on, but in the summer they can be worn without socks! I have loved every pair!

Goose Loves Lamb ~ The twins closest has many pieces from here and they are hands down my favorite! Locally made on Vancouver Island, this mama of 2 is seriously a sewing-ninja and makes the best baby/toddler clothes! Check her out!!! You wont go wrong!

Little Oak & Rose ~ Aren’t these socks to die for? I have been wanting them for months, but was having trouble tracking down where I could get them, but finally did! I love all her little items for girls – Miss A may need a few things!

The dress & pants are from Carters, the white shirt is from The Gap and the precious sweater is handmade by Auntie (the best!!).

Stay tuned for more dressing boy-girl twins posts!

Pin It

Hello, 2016

I love new beginnings and fresh starts.   I love starting a new month and turning the page on the calendar.  I love the organization and ambition that comes with these starts.  Often, it’s because I love routine.  January & September are 2 of my favorite months for starting routine, finding organization, getting back into my “groove”.  They are natural beginnings.

But, with that comes the stress and anxiety of it all.  What do I fill my days with, who do I see, I don’t want to over schedule, but also don’t want to miss out.  I want to have a schedule to keep things flowing, but life should be spontaneous too (Let’s be honest, spontaneous for me is making plans the night before).  With a new year also comes those pesky resolutions.  Even though I dislike resolutions because in fact, I think we should always resolve to be a better version of ourselves, not just in January of a new year, but I also love having goals, and it’s a good starting place, a new beginning.

This year, my resolution (cringe) is health, but on a holistic level.  Not just a “I’m joining the gym in January to quit in March” health kick, but whole life health.  I’ll break it down.

Emotional Health:  Now that the twins are one, and the ‘crisis’ of the 1st year is over, I have had a lot of time to think and reflect.  Which has brought up a whole realm of emotions that I have to work through.  I realize how much I pushed aside to survive and now it’s coming back at me, so I hope to have a better handle on that.   I also need to take care of myself – and be okay taking time for me.  It doesn’t make me a bad mama, or selfish, rather in order to emotionally be available for my family, I need to be taking care of me.  I’m not sure what this looks like yet, but have some ideas.

Mental Health: I deal with anxiety.  Sometimes it’s worse than other times. Lately is a worse time. So, I’m working through that.  I continue to develop “tools for my toolbox” to help manage anxious moments/thoughts/experiences, and hope to continue to do that so that I can teach my children these tools too, should they ever need them.

Physical Health: Yep, it’s in here too.  I do need to be more active, and I need to eat better. It’s important. So I’m making changes that are small (but mighty!) in hopes that my physical self benefits! Ideally, I’d love to see the weight loss, but my goal is strength – that I’m not winded or tired when I should be able to walk further, or run up the stairs to pick up the dropped soothie.  That I can keep up with ever more mobile toddlers and be the best mom I can be.

Spiritual Health:  This is an area that has suffered this last year and I know it needs to change. I need to let go of how things used to be before kids, and accept that it looks different now.  Church isn’t the same because I have 2 babies with me – but it doesn’t mean I can’t benefit from it, I need to let go of expecting the same feelings and experiences even though my life has completely changed.  I also know I need more in my life daily.  Prayer time; reading; quiet time…. these all seem like they would be great, but I don’t know how to make time, it seems hard.  That needs to change. I need to start small.  I have a devotion book waiting to be started, maybe that is where I will begin.

Relationships:  Life has changed – and change is hard.  Having the twins has been amazing, and I wouldn’t change it!  But with having them, it’s changed where my time is, and what I can commit to, and what I can give others – much less than what it was before.  To be honest, I feel like a crummy friend.  I cancel plans, I’m emotional, I’m consumed with my own chaos that I probably don’t listen enough.  I also don’t know how to ask my friends to meet me where I’m at, I don’t like being needy – I like being “whatever works for you” kind of friend.  But I’m not in that place.  My what was once large group of friends is getting smaller and smaller into a few friends who I need more than ever.  This year I want to cultivate those relationships and be the best friend I can be for the stage of life I am at.  I want to be the best wife and mama I can be.  I want to be the best daughter and sister I can be.  The best I can be, at this phase, with a crazy life, and to be okay that that me, is different that me 2 years ago and even different from the me next year.

 

So, 2016, I welcome you.  I welcome the challenges we’ll have, the bridges we’ll cross, the burdens we’ll over come, and the change that is bound to join us.

Pin It