Toddling Around

Mr. T is now a toddler! Last week, he took a few steps, and this entire week he has been working hard on figuring out how to toddle around.  He’s getting pretty sturdy now, and is loving that he can carry toys/snacks/water with him while he walks, which is pretty awesome for a 1-year old.

It’s amazing to watch a little baby learn to walk (really, to learn anything).  But what struck me as I watched him all week, is that when he would fall down, how quickly he’d get back up and try again.  Over, and over again.  Sometimes making it only 1 step before tumbling, but almost immediately, trying to stand again.  Also noticing that by the end of the day, when he was getting tired, he would fall more, but still get up to walk around, even if crawling would be easier.

I look at his determination to figure this out, to do it well, and I admire him.  Yes, I admire my 1-year old.  Because, in my own life, I don’t act in the same way.  In my life, if I get knocked down, I tend to pout, or wonder why, or question, or complain.  I don’t just stand up to try again, even if I will only take one step and tumble again.  In my life, I think it’s not fair that I’ve fallen, and that others should care/know/support, even when it’s me who has to get up and move forward. To persevere. To figure out how to do it.

I know that learning to walk and life’s circumstance to really compare, yet to me, they do.  They do because of his attitude toward the situation vs. mine; they do because of his determination vs. my frustration; they do because I can learn a lot from my toddler.

Life has been hard lately for me, I have been knocked down a lot, I have had to work really hard at being present, and not anxious.  To not worry about what could have been, or what might be, but to enjoy (or deal with) what is, right now.  I am grateful that this week, I was able to be present for my son’s walking, to be present in watching him discover this new world and freedom.  To enjoy the squeals of delight in his accomplishment, and the determination to do it again when it was hard.

I was inspired.  Thank-you baby boy.  You teach your mama more than you’ll ever know.

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